Loneliness and the edge of reasonThere are times when dreams overshadow the contrasting burning
Along this invisible skin
Seeming so fragile as I am
Yet alive behind soft irises, even when all you can hear is my breathing
I seek understanding as much as I see it in myself
With the way we move
The way I move with and towards others
Why do I seem so invisible?
A question left unasked to those blinded, perhaps by my silence
Perhaps by their own...
It is hard to see beyond these blinding mists of regret
Holding so many missed opportunities, in love...and perhaps a deeper friendship
Beyond any scope and anything that withholds us.
My existence may be frail on so many levels, but finding myself alone in this is sometimes the only way for me to actually be less lonely...
And with this in mind...I am not so lost to it....sometimes being alone can bring you to life because it is the only way you can actually be yourself fully... and not quite so lost.
What it takes to standStreaming within a mind so lost
Surrounded and fallen
I seek so much in the light, even in these depths
Where standing takes everything
Swallowed and darkened
And it is as though I have forgotten everything
When all I feel is my own soft breathing
Yet, I still fall within each thump of a heartbeat
Because even in these depths
It is all I hear
Even as everything remains so lost...
And I stand because it is all that I am when I refuse to be.
UnderneathTime stills me
As does the warmth that fills it like history
And the movement of the sun
We all bare our humanity
Each in our own way
I seek everything inwardly with little expression
But fires alight
As I calmly survey
And I feel that I am nothing
Except when my eyes rise to the sky and bare the winds of summer
And the cold brightness that the stars bring with the moon...
And I am not quite as lonely in reflection,
Even with my own ideas of what loneliness really is
We all bare it, in some form or other...but there are times
When I wish I reflected more of what I am as I carry many hidden certainties
Always, always underneath.
EntrapmentLove is flawed
Wrapped and worn
Burning through my irises and closed eyelids
I follow lines of thought baring it
With little understanding in the way it surfaces
Where I breathe every sound and every warmth
And all color collides and mellows like a dream
It is funny though, because I bare pain in the same manner
In it's soft brown feeling
The way it enters my soul through hidden doorways
Unbeknownst to those that surround me...
I find myself entrapped between both
And find beauty in the sadness of it
For it is as though between tragedy and happiness
One cannot live without the other.
TornadoIt is just enough
The light burning
Even in time following the traces of scars
Through my hands alone
I am always, always growing
And I am always learning
The hurt is enough
It burns through my hands
And like a tornado I twist
And everything around me turns every other way...
To be unknown is one thing
When you are alone among masses
But I know one thing that others would not see in blindness
The secret that I am
And the gem that I hold within every breath
What it is that I am reflected beyond every human sadness.
Sometimes I am everythingI am fallible
Tamed only to an outward extent
Fallen to the unseen
Fallen to doubt
The flick of a spark
The light in your eyes
Would you see me through each reflection of hidden light
Baring each weight like it were nothing
I see masses
I see clear skies
Surrounded in my own isolation
Connected, yet seeking nothing in everything
Overtaken but never owned
I am a breath away and invisible
What is it worth to any who see without knowing
The ebbing tides that keep me on edge
But never from growing
I am so much in so little
This state where I reach for the sun
And blue skies
Just to clear my vision
It is something to stand alone, but sometimes it is everything
And sometimes I am everything.
EnemiesThe mindlessness of this tomorrow
And everything that falls through my mind
With raised eyes
Suppressed wonder held at my palms
What moves us to our rhythms still
Fallen to a sadness, to it's will
Rising and solemn
What understanding is there in such a life, such a life
When your enemy is your own shadow
That follows every breath.